Again
by MyPassionateMusician
Summary: Tommy sits in the studio thinking back. Why couldn't he just tell her before she left? Now she's gone forever...


Summary: Tommy thinks back, how it all happened. How he wished he would've told her before she left. Now she's gone, and never coming back.

Hey everyone. This is my first oneshot. I never really was into them until I started reading really good ones. So I decided to do one myself. I don't know if it's any good or not. But I hope it is. Also I hope you enjoy it. I enjoyed writing it so it certainly won't be my last.So here it is...

* * *

**I can't believe I did it again. I broke her heart, and now I'm alone…again. Having sleepless nights isn't fun. But I rather be awake then her haunting my dreams again.**

**It's not easy, why couldn't she just understand. She was legal, I know, but there's still a lot of things in there way. I'm her producer and she's my artist. Also, there's still a 7 year difference. People would probably call me a pervert. We would be all over tabloids. It's not right. Or, at least, that's what I thought at first. Now, I know that she was right. All that we needed was love. But now, it's too late. She escaped from my heart again, and I led her to the path. It's my fault she's gone.**

**I can still feel her though. I feel her in this studio right now. I see her figure through the glass singing, and smiling at me. But then her smile turns into terror. She looks at me as tears fall from her eyes. Then I see blinding lights and wake up from my daydream.**

**Everyone tells me that I need to move on. They know how I feel, but I just can't hold on to you. But how can I let you go. I just can't. It's so hard. I try to forget you by burying myself in my work and going on dates. But once all that was done I just think about you again. I cry alone in my bed thinking why I waited. Why did I tell you I didn't love you? I hope you know that everything I said wasn't true. I hope you know that I miss you. I wish I could hold you right now and tell you that I love you and I'll never let you get away from my arms. I'll hold a firm grip protecting you from everything. If I had done that sooner I wouldn't be sitting in the studio looking at an empty sound booth. The unused mic, the earphones lying across the floor, and the stool in the corner. But the one thing I always seem to have with me, ever since you left, was your guitar. I keep it near me all the time. It seems it's the only thing I have that keeps me close to you. **

**It's hard, coming here everyday, knowing that you won't be here. I try to hide my pain but people look at my transparent lies and have pity on me. I hate it. I can't take pity, I don't want it. Darius even asked me if I wanted to take a few months off. I was stupid to actually agree with him and take him up on his offer. All I did on my break was mourn over the lost of you and your love. I remember that day completely. **

**_Flashback_**

**_We were at the studio…again. We were fighting…again. Because we kissed…again. I didn't mean to kiss her, well, I did, but it was all so confusing. She was 17 so I couldn't, but I wanted to so bad. We were just talking and our faces kept moving closer together. I cupped her face with my hands and kissed her with love and passion. But as soon as I figured what I was doing I pulled away. She had a look of confusion on her as I stood up. _**

**_Tommy: We can't._**

**_Jude: No, Tommy, not again. Don't do this again. _**

**_Tommy: Jude, I'm sorry._**

**_Jude: No._**

**_Jude was starting to cry now. My heart started to break as I saw her angelic rains coming down her cheeks. _**

**_Tommy: It's not right._**

**_Jude: No._**

**_Tommy: Jude you have to…_**

**_I was going to give her a hug but she ran out of the studio and out of G-Major with her tears flying backwards. I mentally scolded myself for doing it to her again. I guess she had enough. I ran after her, but once I was outside. I was too late. She was gone, forever. _**

**_End of Flashback_**

**I never got to tell you I'm sorry. But I am telling you now. I'm sorry. People tell me all the time not to blame myself. But they didn't know what happen that day. They didn't see the pain in your eyes as I intentionally broke your heart into shattered pieces on the ground that I refused to pick up at the time. But you're shattered pieces went along with you. I can here you right now singing to me with your guitar strumming away. You're lovely eyes watching me as I look straight back at them. This studio haunts me with memories of you and it drives me crazy sometimes. How much I miss you!**

**Now I need to wait. Wait until I can be with you again. I don't know how long it will be, because it's been so long already. 3 years is such a long wait. I'm 27 now, and you would've been 20. We could have had such a happy life together. I ruined it. I ruined everything. I just hope that you can forgive me one time. I sit here with honest tears in my eyes that refuse to fall. But I feel them on the brink of my eyelids. What else can I say? I love you, and I'll never forget you. I'll be with you someday. Once that day comes believe I will hold you and never let you go! I'll kiss you and never regret it! I'll love you and never deny it. **

**As I'm walking, I'm getting scared. I haven't seen you in a long time. I don't know what to say, except the truth. I'll just let it out not holding anything back. It's the right thing to do. I know you won't talk back, it's impossible, but maybe you'll just listen. Just listen for the minute where I will be candid to my feelings for you. The grass is so green. Beautiful flowers are left beside you. **

**Tommy: I brought your favorite. A yellow rose. Jude, I'm sorry about what happened. I know that it's my doing that led you to where you are now. If I could take it back I would, just to have you with me. I just want you to come back. But I know you won't. I know it won't happen. I just wanted to say is that I love you. I always have and I always will. You were…are my life. I didn't understand you at first. I thought we could never work, but now I know that we could've and it's too late. I'm sorry, for everything. I love you Jude.**

**I get up and place the yellow rose by her and walk off. **

**_Flashback_**

**_Tommy: Jude, watch out!_**

**_Jude: Tommy! Ahh!_**

**_End of Flashback_**

**I go to my apartment and look through my closet. Then I see a box. The box I kept with memories of you. Then I look at the end. The worst memory of all, the newspaper article.**

**_On Tuesday, January 5, 2006, Instant Star Jude Harrison died. She was hit by a car as witnesses saw her running out of G-Major. She was taken to the hospital but it was too late. Her family says that it was a grave lost and they mourned over her. Darius Mills said that she was her best artist and is a "big loss to him and the company". Her producer, Tom Quincy, did not comment much. All he said was "She's gone. She left me." _**

_**Jude Harrison's funeral was held at Carson Hill Cemetery at 2:00pm. On her grave stone read "Some of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us. But some of us go too soon. Rest in peace dear child and let your music and heart still live within us." To Jude Harrison, friends, and family, we will keep you in our prayers.**_

**As I let down the paper back in its box and go on my bed. I think about you…again. I cry myself to sleep…again. I dream about you…again. And I pray that I will die in the morning just to be with you…again. **

* * *

I had a lot of difficulties with the ending. But I hope I ended it right? So please review...flamers are welcomed. Everyone could use a little critism. Now you see that button down there that says "Go"? Yea, you press that. Come on...press it... 


End file.
